Me changing habits

I was woken up this morning, by the brightness of the sunshine which lighted out my room. I looked through window and the sun's already arose as a sign of new day's coming like a common alarm for everyone. Realizing it's a holiday today, I subconciously drew myself to my desktop computer. I turned it on, openned facebook, toned up by my iTunes' everlasting playlist I hardly ever update, browsing around on whatever.

I daydreamed my one-sided love, wondering if we could sit next by each other on a public bus again, traveling around like we used to be, or just walking home from the yellow bird. It was a nice reminiscenses. Maybe we could make some memorable time. He's such a blowing wind invigorating me like flash, then gone. I waited for it as full moon's turned become a star and flashing a flashy superstar. It was too risky to carry on. Since a forbidden one shall not be go on. Mom advised me not to keep on. But I was still turned on. Until it came the time when the wind's weary to pass the breezeway. So it's me become a remnant. The curse's really spent a moment. Stupid me.

I was doing nothing but the juicy clock has already passed 8 o'clock twice, by 7 in the midst. Yesterday, or last Tuesday, even last Monday, doing the same thing.
I wonder how hard it is to change habits. Yeah, it's like well-i-do-know-it-is-wrong-but-my-body-still-leading-me-there. Such a riddle. Like, my heart's got different thought with my body but my body take control. It's hard to change habits. My mind's like have been set up.
I need to get stronger. Maybe I should follow my conscience.







Then this thought just passed through my mind. Maybe I was just addicted to it. Yes, I've been addicted to an online game before, namely Audition (in Indonesian version called as Ayo Dance) if you know. I've spent my money more than half a million there. And for it, my parent's loss approximately 5 million for paying the internet bills. Haha. Don't you think it's silly?

Well, that reminds me of the smokers. They did generally the same. They're just killing themselves. Yes ofcourse they've known the negative effect of smoking, but why they still did it? No one wants to die. Naturally, our body or our heart doesn't want it to be happened. Just take an easy example. When a person wants to kill him/herself by hanging on a rope, our body will resist and try to move around looking for something to hold on.

Maybe it because of addiction, they still did it. Or habits. But in fact, conscious or unconsciously, we must have been implicated in addiction. Whether it is a physical dependence or phsychological dependence. Like in children nowadays, many of them addicted to television, playstations, and games. For the teenagers: computers, internet, cellphone, iPod, shopping, food, excercise, or else. And in older people having a higher position in their job, they've addicted to power, money, fame, or honour. Even the successful people, may have addicted working (workaholic). The prist even may have addicted to religion. They seem to be devoted to it. Like it's hard to live without it.

Then, we're just disobey the first and the second of ten commandments of God;
(Exodus 20:3-5)
(1)3.Do not have any other gods before me.
(2)4.You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
5.You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me,


Yeah, addiction was just implied as another god. Haha. That was just only an opinion.